Number one after separation has to deal with a lot of loss. First we just lost our significant other, then we lost our home. We lost our life; our day-to-day. Everything is chaos at this moment, and we (as father’s are lost). It is nothing we wanted, nothing we hoped for but here it is. And what adds to it, and makes it all the worse, is that we just lost our babies. Sometimes that is temporary, sometimes permanent , but it all hurts the same. So we have to deal with it.
Now we can try multiple options; drugs, alcohol, working ourselves to death…but it won’t make any difference. But we try that because we don’t think we have any other options…except we do…
We messed up, made mistakes, sure, but that doesn’t mean you lose those babies forever. People make mistakes, we do, we are human. So now we have to get over that and focus on what is MOST important, and that is the babies.
So how to deal with missing them? I can’t say about drugs, but alcohol won’t help. I expect drugs wouldn’t either. It will be hard, and it sucks, but you have to remember this…you miss those babies! Get over your crap, do it and be a daddy to them. That’s the only way.
Sorry if that’s not what you wanted but that is it. You miss them, want to see them, have them in your life? Then stop doing those things that took them from you. Simple, but hard as well. Still true, it’s the only way, and if you cannot, then you are not ready to be their daddy. Sorry if that is harsh, but true.
At this point it isn’t about us, it is about them. If we want them to be happy and live a successful life, then we will get over our own crap, at least long enough to show them a real daddy while they are with us. And if you can’t, you aren’t ready to be a real daddy yet. You can be, don’t give up. Just do it, for the babies, they mean more than anything ever!
Thanks for reading,